the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted. the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted. Eporner way to much boring stuff and way to rushed what happened here in one day should be spread out over months. way to much boring stuff and way to rushed what happened here in one day should be spread out over months. learn about dialog and paragraphs. 49 comments«12345»anonymous readerReport 2013-01-24 15:32:59needs a major rewrite the paragraphs started good but got way to long at the end. the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted.
