Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. tube8 You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. Descriptive is good but you went way too far. 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose.
