Cut back on the descriptives a bit.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 00:30:05heyy everybody, i just sat down to write the next installment, after not being able to sleep all night! Eporner whoopsies… Cut back on the descriptives a bit.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 00:30:05heyy everybody, i just sat down to write the next installment, after not being able to sleep all night! duly notedombligoReport 2012-03-07 05:40:37I guess it is a “Dark and Stormy Night” where you are? But as a nit picky point, you jumped between 1st and 3rd person a lot. 5 comments«1»ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 17:02:17yeah i do tend to write like this anyway i like to have different perspectives on how a character reacts or behaves its a little weird i know. …anonymous readerReport 2012-03-07 10:37:49I liked it. duly notedombligoReport 2012-03-07 05:40:37I guess it is a “Dark and Stormy Night” where you are?
