Keep writing Hannah.«12» 1/10READERReport 2005-09-07 09:13:23Hannah, you have a pretty good geasp of the language but the inconsistancies hurt the story. It`s as if you were there. Free porn Keep writing Hannah.«12» 10 comments«12»READERReport 2006-10-12 22:57:10Now what is it about a good slow fuck between consenting teens that just sounds like it is O.K. The story also needs more visuals, that is why people get bored with the story. to paraphrase St Bobo, erotica is pretty straight forward, its all about setting, characters, and descriptions. If they had been kissing before this weekend and in the park, than why do they act surprised at the chemistry? You forgot “What happened to her hymen?”
Shit story. The story also needs more visuals, that is why people get bored with the story. Also, you need to break the paragraph each time you add dialogue or change speakers.
