1/10«12» That sentence summarizes all of the problems that this story has. tube8 Almost like rambling… Almost like rambling… Work on that, and fix it, then repost it after you do a bit of planningREADERReport 2007-03-12 04:45:26make it longer and it would of been ok. Almost like rambling… Work on that, and fix it, then repost it after you do a bit of planningREADERReport 2007-03-12 04:45:26make it longer and it would of been ok. Overall, there is no detail, no character, no foreplay, no relationship.READERReport 2007-03-12 16:50:18It’s written like an excited child talks… It did have an instant sence of urgency and raw sexual passion about it which some of the longer stories often lack.READERReport 2007-03-12 22:27:42After while John started yelling im going to cum i stop sucking him and he came all over my face i loved it. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2007-03-13 19:03:32that was grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr8tREADERReport 2007-03-13 04:36:14while the other comments have some truth in them eg short, rambling, no foreplay etc.
