Again, it is an excellent start. Snowleopard makes a good point, and don’t forget that it’s a good idea to have someone else read your work before you post it. Bokep indo You’re too close to the action, as it were, to notice little things like continuity errors, word choice, and tenses. You said the second part was coming out “in a couple days” you said that 2 fucking months ago!!!!anonymous readerReport 2012-04-17 00:06:20Off not of. 12 comments«123»anonymous readerReport 2013-07-29 21:04:10have to agree not worth reading without PARAGRAPHS PARAGRAPHS PARAGRAPHSanonymous readerReport 2012-07-04 20:54:39Please forget part 2. Hugh_Jardonanonymous readerReport 2012-04-16 20:30:24Good story, but needs some work on the spelling/grammar front. Again, it is an excellent start. LEARN TO SPELL!!! Keep up the good work, and with practice, you can be one of this site’s best writers.
